Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Starting over

On the coffee shop radio - Human Nature by unknown artist.  I have never heard this song covered.  I can't explain it, but I love this song.  If you don't know it, you can find it on Michael Jackson's Thriller.  Most people would consider it a really boring song, but I love the way it makes me feel.  He's singing about being in NYC, the Big Apple.  It makes me think of 1980's night city scenes in movies.  Glamorous, over the top evening wear, fundraisers, bold makeup. 

I quit my job Easter weekend.  No surprise to those who knew how bad it was getting.  It would be different if it were a job I loved with supervisers that care about the employees.  When I have supervisers like that I don't mind the being told what to do and how to do  it even if I don't agree.  They know what's best for me and they care about me.

I went to my counselor for the second time.  Love this woman.  She sees me.  She can see my passion, she can see my potential, she can see that I want so much more from life.  I'm happy, but there more that I want to do.  I am going back to school.  At first I just thought it would be phlebotomy.  I can draw blood.  I can start IVs.  A nice safe job after giving up and walking away from God's plans for me.  That's right. I walked away from Him.  He hasn't shut any doors in my face, He was getting me to stop fighting and slow down and go back to school.

Delores (counselor) used to be a nurse and said phlebotomy is a very small pool of employment. Not many people really need them.  What to do?  Hmmm.  Hmmmmm some more.   EMT is all I want to do.  ALL I want to do.  I want nothing else.  I was called to it, and God will fulfill it, not me.  God will fulfill it, not me.  It is not up to me to make it happen.  That's another thing I've learned this week.  I went up to school closest to me and they are offering the EMT-A.  It is between my skill level and a paramedic's.  I'm doing it.  I've got all but the financial aid done for school.  I'll probably start by completing my core classes, Medical terminology and anatomy and physiology.