*was going to be titled Why I blog but Medic 7 beat me to it with this post.
I lost my marbles. Not my sense, but my figurative marbles. Like Toodles in Hook. He literally lost his bag of marbles. When he finds them at the end he feels whole again. That's me.
I lost sight of what I do, why I do it, and who I am as an EMT, which I'm only just learning how to be comfortable and not so self-conscious. I'm way more comfortable talking to my patients. I have only ever called 911 once and I was treated so wonderfully. The first responders really took care of me, my medic made jokes and took my mind off the pain. Confidence. That's something I don't have, didn't have, in myself, and my partners could see it. I know not to let the pts or family members see it and I hope I did a good job of hiding it. Goodwin helped me to overcome some of that by making me start an INT on him. He said my technique was perfect, it's that I have no confidence that I'll get it. He always taught in a way that was never condescending, and always with patience and sometimes with humor.
The rookie in me is gone, it's time to take on another role. Not teacher - that's someone with experience. More than I have. Mentor - no. I've had them, too. What is the step after rookie? Good at looking confident?
My partner this week is very new, but he had an excellent EMT teacher. Now the real world teaching begins. Showing him we have an AED built in to the lifepak12, that while we might not intubate, we are equipped with the basic airway and adjuncts and D50 should we find ourselves in that position. I am teaching him and he is eager to learn. I watch him first and then instruct if it's needed.
As far as my job. Working for a company is a necessary evil. I am an EMT for the patients that need me, not for the cold-hearted corporation. I used to go to work thinking What will today bring? Who will I get to meet today? What will I see today? I lost that. I'm slowly coming back to it. It makes it so much easier to face the day.
As far as this blog. I was trying to be like other blogs I read. I was taking my personality out of it and worried about what anyone would think of me. I need to be me. This is my place to talk about what gets me, touches me, what I deal with everyday.
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1 week ago
3 comments:
What helps me with my blog is that I use it to show everyone why I love what we do, day in and day out. I made the conscious decision to stay away from complaining about things and keep to my thoughts about my patients and our shared experiences. Of course some of that was because I choose not be annonymous and my managers are fully aware of what I write and read my blog regularily.
I am a very open person, I talk alot at work and I treat my readers as if they are sitting next to me in the ambulance. I believe you have to be true to yourself in your blog, say what you feel and what you think. People can read between the lines anyway even if you try to hide your true feelings. Get it all out there, good and bad..... It's great cheap therapy!!
I love the way a lot of EMS bloggers tell a story and take the time to explain some of the technical stuff. I take it for granted that only EMS read this and even if they did, I need to get better at writing it out.
I can always expect a surprise when I think "What will today bring?" And it always brings good interesting pts. Today it was joyful parents.
Thank you, 999. I have also made the decision to not be so negative, but to just write about it.
Thanks so much for reading 9and linking) to my post.
I think as EMS providers, those of us who blog take some solace from the fact that we know others like us read what we write and can identify. At least I know I do. I like your blog, and I'll be back! (You're added to the blogroll.)
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